


Ephemerality

by Ju_ne



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Complex feelings, Dramatic, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Hospital, Not Really Character Death, Not really hate, Social Anxiety, car crash, short but intense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:00:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29582013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ju_ne/pseuds/Ju_ne
Summary: When you thought everything was over but life gives you another chance, you have to take it.
Relationships: Kim Minji | JiU/Lee Siyeon
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24
Collections: DreamCatcher Enemies To Lovers Ficfest 2k21





	Ephemerality

**Author's Note:**

> CONTENT WARNING: Read the tags carefully! 
> 
> But also, read it until the last word carefully, you may be surprised! Enjoy!

“- What are you doing here?” I ask her, tears filling my eyes. “- You’re not supposed to be here, I did everything I could so you wouldn’t be here.” My voice is trembling. 

“- I know.” She puts her arms around me slowly. I didn’t realize how much I needed that. “- I know what you did, and I’m so thankful.” Tears finally rolling down my cheeks. 

“- What happened? Was I not strong enough?” I ask her. I still don’t understand why she is here with me. Why am I even able to see her? Am I dreaming?

“- Even though you pushed me, the crash was too violent and the car hit both of us.” 

I look at her face and take a few seconds to process this information, trying to read her expressions. A soft smile hiding a clenched jaw. I understand:

“- We’re… dead, right?” Anger follows sadness. I couldn’t save her. 

“- We are. I don’t know where we are though.” She says while gazing around her. I don’t really care where we are. She’s here with me, and this is maybe my last chance to explain everything to her. So I take her hands and try my best to form coherent sentences. 

“- I hated you.” This isn’t probably the best start, but I have to be honest with her. 

“- And I hated you.” 

“- No Minji you don’t understand, I hated everything about you, the way you talked, the way you walked, I thought that you were arrogant and kind with everyone just to use them, to secure your place on top. I was so jealous of you… The perfect Minji.” I sigh. Our story had such a cliché start. I hated this girl because she was everything I wanted to be. She was shining way too brightly for me, her light was blinding me while I was too scared to get out of my shadows. Or the shadows were pulling me back, I’m not so sure anymore. 

“- Trust me, I understand. Do you know how many times I tried to reach out to you? And yet, you never saw me, the real me. I admired you before I met you… I will never forget the day we met, you were so mean with me, I was so disappointed. Then I started to know more about you. This is when the hate joined the game. The virtuoso Lee Siyeon. Oh yes you were talented, to break people’s hearts… You broke me down, and I hated you for this.”

She’s saying those words while holding my left hand, and drying my tears with her right hand. Nothing makes sense. I knew the hate was reciprocal, and yet, it hurts to hear her say those words to me. My chest tightens at the idea of hurting her. I hurt her. I hurt the girl I love. 

“- I was such an idiot.” 

“- You are an idiot.” She corrects me, and she’s not wrong. “- What were you trying to tell me before we landed here?” 

“- I… I wanted to apologize. For yesterday. I went too far, I couldn’t sleep last night, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, about you. I can’t stop thinking about you since I met you Minji. It scared me, you scared me. I hated you for disturbing my already messy existence. I finally found some balance but since I’ve met you, I became anxious again, and there you were, relaxed and happy on every occasion. Friendly and kind with everyone. I hated you for making me hate myself more than I already did.” 

“- That’s the reason why you insulted me when we met?” 

I can’t do this. I thought she’d be disappointed but she looks sad. It’s worse. 

“- Yes... I was so uncomfortable, I couldn’t help but snap at you, your presence felt like an attack to me. I know how stupid this is but I couldn’t help myself.” I have to tell her. “- I wanted to apologize, for yesterday and all the days before, for everything. I was about to invite you to have a coffee with me so I could apologize properly and maybe try to explain a bit. I’m not sure I would have been able to say everything but, I really wanted to try. I wanted to change for you Minji. Not exactly for you, thanks to you. Hopefully, you would start liking me once I’ve learned how to love myself.” 

“- We’re a bit dramatic, right?” Tears are filling her eyes too. “- We had to wait for the Grim Reaper to put us together here to start talking properly.” Tears are rolling down her cheeks. I’m holding her right hand tightly and drying the tears with my left thumb while caressing her cheek. 

“- I’m so sorry.” 

“- I’ve loved you since the moment I laid my eyes on you.” I look at her right in the eyes, waiting for her to say more. I’m slightly trembling. I don’t know if our situation is getting better or worse, we can finally be honest, but every word hurts so much, I have so many regrets. “- Maybe it wasn’t love, but I was definitely developing a huge crush on you. That’s why I tried to approach you, but every time you rejected me, it was cutting the wound in my heart a bit deeper. Until you went too far, and I tried to convince myself that I hated you. I did my best to ignore you, but I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. So, I kept talking to you, I knew it was annoying you and I was convincing myself I was doing that on purpose because I didn’t like you, but I actually just wanted to be closer to you, to get to know the real you. I wanted you to finally let your mask down with me.” 

She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, inside and out. 

“- You really don’t have an ounce of hatred in yourself, huh?” My left hand never left her cheek, my thumb still slowly exploring the softness of her skin. “- I’m the worst. If only I understood earlier that I was uncomfortable around you because I actually was curious about you... I’ve never felt this way before, I was so scared, scared of myself, scared of hurting.” 

“- It’s okay.” She pulls me in a warm hug. “- At least things are clear now.” 

“- I’m so sorry I didn’t see the car earlier… I really wanted to save you.” 

“- At least we’re together now.” She says softly in my ear. 

After a short moment, I feel the need to tighten the hug, I can’t feel her warmth anymore. She feels like smoke in my arms, the more I try to catch her, the more she escapes me. 

“- Minji?!” I yell. “- Don’t leave me now, don’t leave me!” I beg. 

I catch a last glimpse of her blurry silhouette. She’s smiling, she’s shining. It’s then that I realize that she’s not the one going away but I’m the one falling backward. I don’t know if I’m falling or if I’m being pulled, I just know that I’m moving, the speed of my body increasing way too fast, I keep calling her name until I can’t see anything but a bright light all around me, I close my eyes and focus on my beating heart. 

My beating heart. 

My heart is beating like crazy, I’m sweating and when I finally open my eyes again, I realize I’m lying down in a bed, everything is blurry and I start to panic when I realize my whole body is painful. I try to call her again but I can’t make a sound. I can’t breathe, I hear machines beeping around me, echoing in my already whistling ears. 

When I finally realize someone is holding my hand and talking to me, I turn my head to see her face again. Minji. I calm down a little and do my best to focus on her features. After a few seconds, my vision is not that blurry anymore. She has a bad cut on her left cheek and dry blood all over the other side of her face. But she’s smiling. She’s holding my hand softly and smiling at me. 

My brain seems to wake up too, and I understand that I’m in a hospital room. That conversation probably was all out of my imagination, but now I know. I have a second chance that I can’t wait to take, I will be able to explain everything to her. I have to stop hating myself, I have to stop hating her and I have to learn how to love us instead. 

**Author's Note:**

> I suddenly had inspiration to write this and it was a really good exercise because I've never wrote anything like this, and I'm not good at short fics, I always want to add more and more because I'm afraid readers will be confused. Also, I'm always trying to write something that is a bit different and creative at my own scale, so I'm quite happy with the result!  
> I hope you enjoyed it despite the quite sad setting, I hope you can find comfort on the spark of hope at the end.


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